... and I should be punished.
What have I done? I have breached one of New Labour's laws. I have done so blatantly, knowingly, and intentionally. In doing so, I have secured a small but definite private profit for myself and caused loss to at least two other people.
I have ... wait for it ... swapped over a light switch in the kitchen. You see, the main light switch started playing up a while back and has become steadily more unreliable since. However, there is an identical switch elsewhere, which is little used. So I hatched my evil plot; to remove the non-functional switch and install it in the unused location, and fit the thus-freed switch for fitting in the important location. 20 minutes later, they are swapped.
However, I failed to give notice of this change in my electrical system to the local council. I failed to ensure that a suitably qualified electrical installer was engaged in order to carry out the task. Instead, I noticed that we had a snag and just got on with it. Myself.
I have, of course, deprived a local electrician of a job. I have also deprived a local council employee of a brief moment of purpose with which to justify his existence. I have saved myself the cost of the application and the electrician; I have thus profited from my crime at their expense.
I wait, nervously, for the 6am raid....
One of the horror stories my Dad used to tell to illustrate to us Children of Thatcher was a plan hatched by the Postal Unions to get the government to grant a monopoly on the installation and repair of anything connected to the phone system, on the grounds that if something sub-standard were to be installed the whole country would come grinding to a hideous halt.
ReplyDeletePatently, what makes you think you need to commit a crime to be raided?
ReplyDeleteGood story, BE. I see that the country seems to have coped (somehow) since then despite the range of telecoms equipment that has since been introduced!
ReplyDeleteGood point Albert - that reassures me. (I think?)
of course, if you ever do get an electrician around now, he will look for the UV guild stamp on your work, suck his teeth and decree a complete rewiring necessary before it is safe for him to touch ;-)
ReplyDelete... and immediately lose the job to someone willing to be more reasonable!
ReplyDelete"However, I failed to give notice of this change in my electrical system to the local council. I failed to ensure that a suitably qualified electrical installer was engaged in order to carry out the task."I bet you used a ladder without the appropriate training too!
ReplyDeleteAnd are you planning on using anything other than an ecofriendly light bulb in that light? I just bet you are.
I know your sort...
Now you mention it, Julia, I think I also failed to cone off the relevant area of the kitchen with cones conforming to the relevant BS 873:Part 8 D2...
ReplyDelete:o)