Sunday 8 February 2009

Severe weather leaves vital stocks running low....

The BBC currently reports that stocks of the words "unprecedented", "hazardous", "significant", "plummet" and "widespread" are reaching as low as 20% of normal levels. Police forces across the West Country advised people to only use these words if they were essential.

Some local councils have come under fire for not pre-ordering extra stocks of such words, however one spokesperson said: "Councils had to prioritise supplies to focus on the most important words. He said: "If that fails to deal with any issue, then councils will talk to the Oxford English Dictionary to look for further supplies."

A container ship full of words is en route from America, however there is concern that some of these will be mis-spelt and not up to usual standards of English.

Government Minister for Vocabulary and Pronunciation said:"The 40,000 words coming on the ship from America does not sound a lot - just one news item can use 130 of these words, and you have to think of all the different news channels that are involved."

With credit to "DHA", contributor to Tyresmoke.net, the community for drivers and owners of performance cars (and anyone else with a sense of humour).

2 comments:

  1. We ran out of extraordinary, record, first-time, unique, exceptional, and unmatched days ago.
    We are reduced to using "Watch out! - lots - parky and safe.

    I should also like to report that the shipload of words, that started in America, "widespread" - 'prevalextensivity', are indeed unsuited to English news bulletins.
    They also have strings of words attached that require some sophisticated modification before use in the UK media.

    "More, after these messages"
    "Tonite. 10pm Eastern."
    "• Obama Aide Pushes for Speed in 'Spendulus' Plan"

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  2. Microsoft Word - right click - synonyms.

    Got me out of several tight literary spots.

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