Daily Mash hits the spot ... again

THE RECESSION HAS GONORRHEA, CLAIMS DOWNING STREET

THE recession has a sexually transmitted disease that it has been covering up for years, Downing Street sources claimed last night... the wife of consumer price deflation was mentally ill and had been seen crying at drinks parties....and the manufacturing slump has been accused of doing special favours for its boyfriend, the housing crash.

Best of all:

But a Downing Street insider insisted the latest revelations would 'destabilise' the recession, even though opinion polls show voters would prefer a combination of economic collapse, mental illness and gonorrhea to another five minutes of the Labour Party in government.