Sunday, 20 December 2009

If Gordon came for dinner

A poll has been published - the pollsters are oviously getting bored with reporting consistent Tory leads, so have added a few "different" questions. It seems that more people would have dinner with Gordon than with Dave.

I'm not surprised. Not surprised at all.

As I tweeted earlier today, I'd love to have dinner with Gordon - I'm just not sure he'd enjoy the experience. Oxford Spring made the scurrilous (utterly scurrilous!) comment that I might spike his cranberry sauce, but in fact my plan was that he would only be there for the conversation. The food would be for us. Just imagine...

"So then, anyone know the current gold price?"

"It must be lovely knowing that the people voted you in to No. 10 ... oh, err.."

Another idea would be to serve up a plate for everyone except Gordon. He would start with an empty plate, but then we would scoop 60% of everyone else's food onto his plate. Then, we could look round to see who had the most left, and shout that this was unfair - so unfair! So, just this year, we should make a special deduction from their plate and pile in onto Gordon's.

What would you say or do if Gordon was coming for dinner?


  1. Turn the lights out and hide behind the sofa until he had gone away.
    But if he had been seated I suppose ..

    "Do you still see much of Tony and Cherie?"

    "You've just be to Denmark I hear. Have a good time?"

    "I rate James Purnell, What do you think of him?"

    "I've been thinking what you said about Etonians the other day. You're right. I've identified 25 senior BBC Managers that need to be chopped. I'll start going through the health boards next week, and the civil service the week after. I'll send you the names. Should get a few thousand if Harrow, St Pauls , Winchester etc are included.
    Then we can move onto the military and the Church"

    "Now that the monthly borrowing is costing the equivalent of a government department which departments should we axe completely?"

  2. Sadly I think I would be hard put to it to remain civil (assuming I wasn't being violently sick, that is).

  3. I'd probably end up stabbing him with a fork - in the good eye.

  4. I'd ask him "how does it feel to screw up an entire country for a generation?"

  5. Lovely suggestions, all - thank you!

  6. "Lovely suggestions, all." Even Stephen's?! Remind me never to accept an invitation to your house for a "lovely" meal.

  7. Feed gordie poison, or cook him a meal my cooking is lethal, hub and my old dogs refuse/d to eat my meals.

  8. Albert - you've nothing to fear, unless you happen to have ruined the UK economy, embarked upon a class war, confiscated the majority of my income, abused our constitutional rules to insert yourself into No. 10 without a mandate, and so on...

    (You haven't, have you??)

    Vetnurse - if the dog won't eat it, that's a bad sign! Ours will eat anything if it's been scraped off a human plate!

  9. You haven't, have you??

    There's only one British politician guilty of all those things, so if I answer you honestly, it will be clear that I am, in fact, Gordon Brown.